Now what do you do, the imperfection of your new "where have you been all my life" starts turning into "what did I do to deserve this", and I know you know what I mean? I know right? So if you were to "Ask Donnie", I will tell you that I have been there myself my friend. So I want to give you a few tips for your new or next new relationship, so you can make sure that you have met your prince or princess charming.
When we've been burned in a relationship, we go into new relationships a little more weary. “That’s a two-edged sword,” says most relationship coaches. While being street-smart can help you avoid making the same mistake the next time, "It can also keep you so hyper alert to possible problems that you don’t give yourself to a relationship," Here are some tips to help you when you're ready to try again.
Note: PRAY FOR YOUR NEW MATE BEFORE YOU EVER MEET THEM!
Here are my Ten tips for new finding love;
1. Deal with the past. Work with a therapist, christian counselor to help you to understand how and why you picked your failed marriage.
2. You can make a choice. Look, I get it, Something bad happened right? Do not allow yourself to fall into victim mentality. You have to get past a broken heart and you can. We have all been there and I have found they we can still breath air even in the worst of circumstances when it comes to a failed relationship. So stand up, brush your self off and move on. It really is as easy as that. You can and will move on.
3. Learn who’s safe and not safe and how to be safe. Once fooled, twice smart. Learn the early warning signs that someone lacks integrity and construct proper boundaries to keep people like that far from your heart. If someone ask you for money or to move in with you after only a month, then that is a big red flag people! Hello? Just because we allow our hearts to fall on an emotional level, does not mean we are to shut off our brains on a mental level. No one is that lonely that you have to allow someone to take advantage of you just because you like them.. Give me a break?
4. Be very clear about your expectations. My Pastor asked a great question in Church a few weeks back, it was simple and very clear and to the point. What do you want for yourself? What are you moving toward? Know what your values are and be clear about what you’re looking for in a relationship. Then, be bold about not settling for less.
5. There really are wonderful people everywhere. Uh huh, you ended up with a world class schmuck AND the world is full of really great people.
6. Go to healthy places to meet people who enjoy the same things you do. If you like to dance, take dance lessons. If you like to hike, join a trail club.
7. Hold off on the sex. This is a biggie! Give yourself time to get to know someone before jumping in the sack. My research has found that 85 percent of couples had known each other at least 30 days before having sex and 45 percent waited at least a year.
8. How are they around your family and friends? I will ask this again! How are they around your family and friends? How comfortable are you around theirs?
9. Pay attention to their overall behavior. Is this person an “easy keeper” or is your relationship full of drama? Are there periodic temper tantrums? Regular “flake sessions?” If so, next!
10. Most of all pay close attention and listen to your guts. Pray, Pray, Pray! You have a built-in radar that alerts you when something is up. So, listen to and honor your intuition.
Let me hear your comments and I will answer you, have a great weekend ~ God Bless Donnie
