I am a man who constantly struggles in my career as a journalist, writer, speaker, and a man who aims to work in comedy; I get tested all of the time. Life is tough out there, especially in the world of stand-up. So I learned early that in order to compete, that I must have the attitude of a winner. Are you a winner or a whiner? Are you a stud or a dud? Unfortunately in life most people whine and don't win. Most people think of themselves as duds instead of studs. The most powerful people in the world are true winners. People like Tim Tebow, Donald Trump, or George W. Bush, never whine about anything. They get on with their endeavors 100% every minute of their waking hours. Winners can handle tough times and keep their shoulders to the plow. The main difference between winners and whiners is that winners take 100% responsibility for their results in their life. Whiners blame everything and everybody for the results they have manifested in their lives. You know a whiner straight off by asking the following question "What has been your biggest failing in life". If they go off on a tangent and blame everything and anything about their life, you know you are speaking to a regular whiner.
I
am constantly asking myself the question of what it takes to be a winner; their
answer should be that they don't have any failings. Why? Because they have
taken 100% responsibility for all actions in their lives. Do you really think
that people like Tim Tebow complain about such trivial things like there is not
enough time in the day? Do you really believe successful network marketers
complain that their team doesn't duplicate?. Of course not and by taking 100%
responsibility themselves, they concentrate on getting results and not expend
their energies on trivial thoughts. So remember whatever industry you are in,
by shifting the blame onto other things, you become a spineless wimp that won’t
accept responsibility. If you want to succeed in life you must lead from the
front. You must think big in all you do and endeavor as hard as you can to
reach your goals. People only follow winners. Whiners blame everything and
consequently get nowhere, winners get results.
We all do it -
With the best of intentions. We tell ourselves that this is the year we will
turn things around. Finally, we even tell the world. And then we move on with
our lives and ‘forget’ about it. A year passes, and we wonder why nothing has
changed. And we always find something or someone to blame. Our greatest
accomplishments and our greatest disappointments are well-planned. People are
good at setting themselves up for failure, and good at setting themselves up
for success. It starts between
the ears. Winners understand the power of planning.
Whiners live from day to day.
Winners
say: There’s no day like today.
Whiners say: There’s always tomorrow.
Winners
take action.
Whiners sit around and wait.
Winners
get their hands dirty and dig in.
Whiners expect others to do the work for them.
Winners
produce results.
Whiners have excuses.
Winners
are proud of their accomplishments.
Whiners feel sorry for themselves.
I
could fill an entire page with these bold statements, but I think you get my
point. It’s all about attitude. Because, as the great Zig Ziglar says, It our
attitude, that will raise our altitude. So
ok, let’s dig a bit deeper into the
anatomy of a loser. Yes, I know. It’s a derogatory term and I’m
only using it for dramatic effect. I’m not writing anyone off and I’m not pointing
any fingers. Here are some
surefire ways to sabotage your own success.
1. WISHFUL THINKING - Life’s not a fairy tale where three
wishes are granted to the humble but noble underdog. Yet, most of us keep on
wishing things would change for the better, but are we really willing to work
for it? You can spot lack of commitment from a mile a way by the language
someone uses. You’ll hear a lot of: “I
would like to” “I may or might” “That sounds interesting, perhaps I should
explore that…”Their favorite word is “but,” as in: “I really wanted to do that, but….If you want to get
something done, get off your butt. Take that first step, no matter how small. Life
is overwhelming. That’s why we break complicated processes down into small
pieces. It makes them more manageable. Nobody expects you to finish a full meal
in one bite.
2. LACK OF URGENCY & MEANING - A goal is a more than a dream with a
deadline. No one gets excited about the things they want to accomplish… some
day. Be brutally honest. If you don’t want it badly, it probably doesn’t mean a
lot to you at this point in time. Otherwise, you would feel that inner urge
burning inside of you like a fire that makes you unstoppable. The feeling of
being driven comes from doing things that matter more to you than anything
else. This feeling will excite you when things go well, and it will give you
the energy to climb those mountains that still stand in your way. So, stop
talking about the things you’ve always wanted to do. Start doing them. NOW.
3. BEING NON-SPECIFIC - If you don’t know your destination, how
will you know you have arrived? Vague ideas are daydreams. Vague ideas never
inspire. Vague ideas let you off the hook, and you know it! The statement: “I just want to be happy” is a
great example. What does happiness mean to you? It’s not even a goal. It’s a
touchy-feely by-product of something else, but of what exactly? Here’s another one: “I want to be better.” Better
than what? Compared to what? What’s preventing you? Who’s preventing you? A
favorite of motivational trainers is the statement: “I want to make more money. ”Some self-help gurus will walk up
to you and give you a dime, saying: “Look,
you’ve just accomplished your goal. You now have more money! Are you happy
now?” Besides being unspecific, making more money is not what they
call an end-goal. It’s a means-goal,
meaning it is a means to an end. Concrete goals have a starting point and a
finish line. They require careful planning and a clear vision of the end
result. Once you have that clear vision, ask yourself: “What is the last step I take that will get
me to accomplish my goal?” Then you work your way back,
figuring out all the steps you have to take to get you to that point, until you
arrive at the present. It’s -to use a Steve Jobs expression- connecting the
dots backwards, in advance. Unfortunately, most people find it easier to sum up
what they don’t want. Take it from me: You’ll never get anywhere by focusing on
the things you wish to avoid. In fact, you’re more likely to attract the very
things you’re running away from. Great goals are always stated in the positive.
4. BEING OVERLY DEPENDENT ON OTHERS - Waiting for others to make your dreams
come true is not only lazy, it also means you make yourself dependent on others
as you’re giving away your personal power. How many times have you said to
yourself: “I would feel so much
better, if only this person would…” You fill in the blanks. Forget
it. People won’t change unless they want to. I believe I wrote about that recently,
didn’t I? A great goal is
self-initiated and self-maintained. You OWN it. You’re the
captain. It’s your ship. Why is that essential? No person in the world is ever
willing to work as hard to accomplish something that’s meaningful to you, as
you are. Yes, it’s nice to surround yourself with the right type of supporters
and critics. But you don’t need cheerleaders chanting empty slogans or
Debbie-downers that rip your plan to pieces before it’s even born. You need
friends that can give you an honest assessment, and that can help you fine-tune
your grand plan. You also need the right people who have the expertise you
don’t have, and who are willing to put their weight behind your project. However,
it is your
vision and your
responsibility to make it a reality.
5. BEING SELF-CENTERED - You might reach your goal and feel like
a winner, but I see it as a failure, if you’re the only one benefitting from
your success. There’s no doubt that it’s an accomplishment to get out of the
ghetto and become a successful multimillion dollar recording artist. But all
your golden shower heads and bling don’t mean a thing, if you spit on your
roots instead of giving back to where you came from. Results come with
responsibilities. Decisions have consequences. That’s why I encourage you to
look at the impact pursuing and reaching your goal will have on the world
around you. Pursuing a goal
with passion means you’re willing to pay a price. Remember that
you don’t live on an island and that sometimes, that price may be too high. Your
company might have successfully launched a new product, boosting business like
never before, but if your production process is poisoning the wells and killing
wildlife, is it worth it? Think about the bigger picture. It’s a matter of
ecology. Before you commit or decide to quit, here are four questions I want
you to ask yourself.
1. What will happen if I do X?
2. What won’t happen if I do X?
3. What will happen if I don’t do X?
4. What won’t happen if I don’t do X?
The
answer to these questions will help you determine whether or not the price is
worth paying. The greatest goals are never about personal fame and fortune, and
they will never come true the way you imagined them to come true. At the end of
the day, every goal is a picture of what you believe you’re capable of, with
all the resources you have available right now. That means that every goal is
limited by your imagination and your perception of what is possible. The most
ambitious goals will seem unrealistic and unreasonable, and yet, even those are
confined by what you think you can or cannot accomplish. That’s why some of the
philosophers of the word will teach you to set clear outcomes, and then let go
of the form. That way, you allow the universe to exceed your expectations. Steve
Jobs’ sister Mona Simpson, was there when her brother died. She recently told us what his last words
were: “Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. ”We
don’t know what prompted him to say these words, but whatever Steve saw in his
final moments, I’m pretty sure it exceeded all his expectations, and it brings
me back to my question, and remember this is personal, as I started this blog,
I had to first ask myself am I winner or a whiner? I have come to this
conclusion, that I am a winner, I have a never say die attitude, and I can take
nothing and turn it into a three day weekend with first class airfare and hotel
accommodations’. So it comes down to our ability to adapt to what ever we face,
and this my friends is what separates the Winners from the Whiners,
which one are you ~ Donnie Bolena
